Yeah....So......?

I'm sitting here in a weird mood, not sure why really...maybe I'm just tired and worried about my exam and last show on Friday. It could also be the other uncertainties going on in my life at the moment. I'm not really too into discussing any of here, but so many things seem to be up in the air.....I want these things to come down to me-effectiviely meaning have some questions answered and some decisions made, but I think the answers and circumstances to these questions and decisions would scare me too much. Ignorance is bliss, the negative of this however is that I need to stay in this kind of limbo.....I feel so pulled between forces right now......so tiring. I'd love it if life would just sort of happen for me right now....like I am usually in full control of it, but the past 6 months or so has seemed like...well, some type of fate....I now feel like I could resign myself to the pull, but only if it brings me what I secretly want. Do I even know what I want? See, opposing forces at work here for sure.

The opposing forces is totally me I know....I can't make up my mind.....I made up my mind a lot in the past, and now I have, not so much regrets, as wonderings about what could have been. I'd love to let go and just get caught up in everything, but the thought of doing so and losing what tenable grasp I have on any type of foundation I may have at the moment is, well, scary.

So, there you go.....oh yeah....I'm moving to Moncton.

à demain.