Christ I'm Bored

AHHHHH So friggin bored. This is brutal. After all the crap last week, and the three hour probability/calculus exam today, I am finally free (more or less), but now find myself with nothing to do. I've been in my room now since I got home, staring at the cpu, picking up the bass occasionally, or making some tea. This is fucking pathetic. Weird, I had all this energy last week, even amongst all the stuff I had to do. I mean, I was flirting with strange girls, I never do that. Odd, now here I am, wasting a perfectly good night. Thankfully I've been told I am going out tomorrow night, as well I've also been informed by the Freddy girls that I will be going out and having fun after the show on Friday, but we'll see about that. I have to make it through that show first. I have been told by numerous people in the past week or so to get out and have fun. I guess I must come across as some type of no-fun-having shut-in. (Holy Hyphen City!)

I think I'm being called out on that post I made on my space blog about getting a life, or whatever the hell it was I put there. That was the gist of it I believe. Something about being more selfish was it? Definitely something I could use, if only for a night, hahaha. I'm too damn nice for my own good, and believe me, in the short-run anyway, that nice guys finish last. The long-run is most likely a different story, since most of the "bad" guys who kept finishing first get themselves killed, or in jail, or whatever the hell happens when they refuse to grow up.

I've done some "bad" things in the past, but I grew up in the past few years. I think I might be able to tap that old Lee hehe that looks so bad hahaha. Gonna tap that huh? Anyway, I'm being silly. You get the point. I keep swinging from one extreme to the other. Mature and responsible and very single (now), or the alcohol consuming, casual sex having (although that was only once, complicated, not explaining), speeding in cars, playing in a band, and wasting his money on, well, anything, it was all wasted in some form. Hahaha.....that last sentence is so funny to read, anyone who has only met me in the past few years would be shocked. It wasn't that bad, ask anyone who was around for it. That sentence makes it sound worse than it was. My point was that I was slightly different then, and that wasn't all that long ago....not sure what happened.

I keep swinging from one extreme to the other all right. Even here on this blog you can see it. All those posts about marriage form last month? Well, the more time passes, the more I find those a little out there. This is funny, I just had a conversation last week with someone about that, and how I have no idea what I really want. So yeah, with that mind, never take anything on here as absolute, I only sound convincingly absolute in my arguments because I've been taught to after years of university. Trust me, I'm as human and insecure as the rest of you.

Alright, time to find something to do already. I'm out. Au revoir.



EDIT 11:31PM
Okay, I feel I need to clarify that "casual" remark. It was more like "friends with benefits" than casual.....kinda.....I'm going to shut up now. (:-#)